Poem Number 80 - Within Myself - 6/11/1984

I have found myself, within myself,

With the confidence I have re-earned.

Is this because of my important true love?

Which, lost as it were…………is now found.

Never have I decided to be so thoughtful,

To such a glorious, loving kind person.

I don’t need to say, “Will this new, be with me?”
As my mind certainly (and definitely) knows what the answer will be.

May our love, never separate us from each other,

For truthfulness is what has been holding us together.

Apart from the trusting love and affection,

This will make both of us head, towards one direction.

This beautiful mature love and understanding,

For me, cannot beat any other love I’ve had before.

I will look after and care For Barbara (and Wayne),

May I lead both our lives, neither feeling rich nor poorer?

One woman sitting in a shed, opposite her husband,

Watching, looking at every moment, I awake.

Shaded by firm tree, overlooking all over,

Footpaths, with consistent traffic, traveling to and fro.

Sun becoming coolly aided by a Southwesterly breeze,

Maybe, I’m in a state of mind, of self-control.

There are no factors destroying me,

Yet, now I’m only twenty-three.

Feeling so soft: from top to toe,

I look at my future, not being so bleak.

I think I’m gaining strength, within my self,

Yet I feel so lonely on the outside.

Yesterday I met a girl, whom by co-incidence,

Only met her mother, only a few weeks ago.

To God’s answer coming to me,

To respond to this girl? If so, let it be.

This Andrea, whom I thought I met before,

Evidently turned out to be her sister!

Barbara and I had decided both, to live in a flat of our own,

I agree with my full-hearted love, to care the same for “Wayne”.

Even though, I say to others, who question me,

“Yes, I care and love Wayne (yet I’m no real father of his)".

There will be many-a-time, when such an occasion will occur,

For Barbara to be pregnant and show me, our first child.

We both don’t mind pink bed sheets, to sleep on,

And we would definitely hope, our first child’s a daughter.

I insist in God answering our prayers,

In all our best days, in our lives to come.

So we can build and grow a family,

And that! We will of course work at that………..at home! 

Poem Number 79 - Trust Is The Word - 20/10/1984

She’s so beautiful, in every way,

With nothing but sweet conversations with her, we share.

I’ll always feel so relaxed, as I have found my new love,

Which means something more than anything else.

She tells me. To go out and find another girl,

Then we go out…………….

But there is no way; I would do that at all to her.

Cause to myself, I would be shouted at!

A woman, so young and such a delight,

At least, I have found a lady so bright.

Blond, like the sun shining,

Onto the whole wide world,

I’d say, I’d keep on watching her “ Wayne”,

Lying right beside them, every single day.

Happier are the days for me, than ever before,

Since I met Barbara, nothing has ever seemed wrong.

There is this very distinct strong feeling, within myself,

Which tells me that we are going to be living together (In a while for a long time).

I have little to offer to her, except myself,

That may just seem a lot to her (well I hope it does!).

I will take care of her and her lovely child,

Even though, he may seem to be a little child.

Arrangements may be little to us,

As we both understand that passionate kissing and sexual love,

Would cure all disagreements, if there were any!

Life should not be made, on the basis of voices of yelling at each other.

Faithfulness, is our main aim,

There are a lot of miss marriages,

Caused by playing up behind your partners back,

This would make our lives, an extremely loveable one.

Trust is the word, which would be kept between us,

The confidence I have re-earned,

The only secrets we will share outside of us,

Is that magnetic attraction of love?

It’s a little over a week, we have met,

Yet, it feels that we have been going out, with each other for loner time,

For a great part of our life, no one needs to know, about all this,

Except the only two people in this world. Just you and me, Barbara! 

Poem Number 78 - Barbara - 19/10/1984

To meet a very nice young lady, called “Barbara”,

Who makes sure that I do not keep on smoking,

Did I change, within the first night?

As we both enjoyed talking to each other.

Why should a man or so, call be,

Jump into bed without saying a word?

Is it just to show, how a man can feel so free?

So, he can just have a one-night-stand with a bird of any choice?

There is more to life, than being a man.

No pride is lost, by not making love on the first night.

As the smiles are shared between the man and woman,

And the time put into it, is such a great delight.

To Barbara, who care and loves her child, “Wayne’,

May I at least, try to help as much as I can,

As I have never felt, so needed before,

Neither richer nor even poorer.

Will Barbara want to speak to me again?

To a guy, whom she’d most probably want to see again?

Or will there be another guy, who steps in the way,

And for me, to commence my life again right from the first day.

I urge not, to have a cigarette,

As all I needed was a friendly pat on the shoulder.

May I pledge to god, that I don’t end-up, in strife-like before,

Having faith in you, in all I need to do: obeying your commands.

Friends may we be, at least to both our eternity,

For that is the importance, of our relationship.

So that cannot be changed, so easily,

Cause it would change our course of life-entirely.

I may not have much to offer to Barbara,

But my friendship and caring, is all I can give,

As I would not take any privileges,

Or show unlove or forgetfulness to her.

This maybe another change in my life,

A change that may have come at the right time;

For myself.

I know that my mother doesn’t decide in whom I like.

Passionate love, is how I feel tonight,

Holding her hands, as if I would not let her go.

But the confidence within me, was regained by Barbara,

And my body will keep on ticking, to the fast beats of my heart. 

Poem Number 77 - Strike Or No Stirke! - 17/10/1984

It’s a good thing that God never had,

“Never go on strike!”

Because Jesus wasn’t treated fair,

On the good work, he had done.

If he once sat down and said,

“That’s it! I’m through!

I’ve had enough of those on earth,

So this is what I’ll do:

I’ll give my commands to the sun,

And cut off your heat supply,

And to the moon, no light will be seen,

And lastly, run the oceans dry!

And just to make it really tough,

And put the pressure on-

Turn off the oxygen,

Till everyone’s breath is gone.”

May say they want a better deal,

And so, “On strike”, they go,

But what a deal, we’ve given God,

To whom the world, we owe.

Some don’t care, whom we hurt,

To gain the things we like.

What a mess we’d all be in,

If in God should go, “On strike!”

Poem Number 76 - All Wrong - 28/6//1984

Gees! It was fine to be my own lawyer,

To say freely, anything about her,

To legally get back all my belongings, together,

To speak to a court official, appointed arbitrator.

May this, small court know the truth,

And when her body is present, using her influential sweet voice.

She tried to tell side stories,

Which did not get her going any way.

She can try as hard as she can,

To give ”Bullshit” evidence.

But my questioning was straight forward,

Like I had just hammered a nail on the board.

My confidence did not show nervousness,

Right throughout the whole procedure.

But my case was just over half prepared,

I think, she was shocked to hear, what I had to say!

Waiting outside in a car, was her new (prey) fiancé,

Who did not walk out and had nothing to say.

Michelle wanted to find out from me (the same as before),

As why I have left her, just like a hat dropping on the floor.

But I kept my mouth shut,

As I knew, what she was up to.

But what I found out from her,

Makes me glad, that I left her at all.

She told me: she had two children,

And never before mentioned that to me!

Now, for a woman to keep that from a man,

That is totally wrong, for one to do!

Poem Number 75 - Encouragement Points - 20/6/1984

No nervous, I had presumed,

As I wait for the arbitration,

My own legal courthouse,

To mentally bite a piece fromher arse.

I will fight for what I live:

All that is mine will hopefully end up mine.

Let the world of my recent life,

To watch the end of the war (with my past so-called wife).

Fairness is not what I am after,

As she; the queen of unfairness,

Has always mistreated me,

Including everything (except my body), in her nest.

The little good, she had,

Was definitely lost with my friends,

She had made in the east,

They have since left her, for dead.

She may have gained a few points,

But they were not encouragement points,

For her, to say that she had a hard life,

What about the generation of parents, before us?

For her sexual habits had been always fulfilled,

For the only good word she ‘d always recognize was, “Screwed!”

You had to stay with her,

Until she was quite pleased and was finished with you. 

Poem Number 74 - Liberals - 19/6/1984

Should we subject ourselves, to a government in power?

Could they stop the wars, the cold and the rest of the weather?

With a choice of socialism or individual prosperities,

There is only one to choose and I’d leave that to your own capability.

Indirect taxes introduced by socialist governments,

Lead to unrest in communities and higher inflated rates.

“May those who aren’t employed, be employed”.

These are always to be said of men, of the two-headed.

Brining the employers down to the employees,

Let all have more legal 'Sickies',

Institutions and new government departments,

Be programmed to do new work.

Decrease our popular dole bludgers,

Make them work and they’ll be whingers.

May we tax private bank accounts of individuals,

And death duties, on top of every will!

May we legalize legislation, that hasn’t been passed before?

For example, the homosexuals: all they want is more!

May we squeeze what we can get from the rich and give it to the poor?

So that, when inflation is looked at, it skyrockets high!

Let those gun shooters aim their gun at us,

And we don’t see to make any fuss,

Whereas new community centers rise up,

Who pays the taxes? All of us.

May the government infiltrate all companies?

And suspend all inconsiderable union strikes.

Due to inappropriate regulations and laws,

Our society could end up being a socialist government.

Poem Number 73 - Squeezed Of Money - 19/6/1984

There is one extra thing than anything else,

That is to find out that, you are somebody else.

A year or so ago, you were lead by a dog,

Now you are feeling on top of the world.

The hurt you caused to outsiders,

Made you realize that they are not victims,

But a lot more closer friends,

Then you’ve very had before.

You have been squeezed of money,

You have been made unfinancial.

But you live and strive,

To fight for what you originally fought for.

It is not hard for you to induce,

And to be sucked in: by the opposite sex.

But of course, if you are strong and secure,

That sort of situation would put you to the test.

Let’s hope you don’t commit yourself,

To anyone else,

Or you would be definitely,

Be left by yourself, on the shelf.

May time take over from indecision,

Until you have such an excellent vision.

You consider the affect on other humans,

The way you approach and deal with them.

You are very fortunate, to stand on your own two feet,

To prejudge everything, towards our outward look, on life.

Seeing and realizing that not everything is not what it seems,

Like an awakening sun, and it’s rays.

Stand up so tall, even if you are small,

There’s nothing to stop the way you think.

You are the pace bowler,

The way you think can make all of us jump.

Poem Number 72 - What Day? - 7/6/1984

If yesterday’s tomorrow was Thursday,

Then what is the day after tomorrow’s, yesterday?

Poem Number 71 - Carol, Still So Young - 5/6/1987

A dearest person I know for quite a long time,

Always bright and thoughtful, with consideration.

Carol, still so young with a lively heart, ever breathing,

To her, everyone she knows is part of her living.

Sometimes, I regret having arguments with her,

But this brings out the best of survivors.

Apology is my return to Carol, if pressured by others,

As that’ll wipe off any hurt, of those worries.

Suggestive to her, I always agree but never listen,

As Carol to me, seems to know about any man’s reaction.

You can’t tell carol is a stupid woman,

As young as she is, she really shows her brilliance.

At times, since I’ve known her, she is somewhat mixed up,

Not knowing which result and direction, she’ll take.

It’s funny, as to me we are just good friends,

Even if one of us leaves work, our friendship will never end.

I do feel like a male chauvinist-pig,

If I win any fights, between us,

But at least, I’ll eventually think twice,

To keep us in our peace and paradise.

If any-a-time Carol needs me,

To listen or talk too quite freely,

I will immediately stop everything,

Lend a hand, ear or anything.

God, carol loves the life she’s living,

Do not harm for any part of her life,

As I can understand her, when she decides to be a wife,

Not wanting to bring in this world, a little child.

Poem Number 69 - Cold Air Around - 2/6/1984

Loneliness does not make anyone, really bad,

Nor does it make me feel any bad.

Sometimes, you don’t have anyone to talk too,

It is best then, to go for a long walk.

With my head down, cold air around,

A one-way to only one direction, I am bound.

Darkness and nothing ness, from all sides,

Listening to the water that determines the tides.

I’m almost halfway to letting myself loose,

But at twenty-three, I’ll have nothing to show for myself,

I’m just grateful for being alive and well,

For what I have been through, is just like taking a great big fall

Poem Number 70 - Leanne I know, Thomas I Don't - 2/6/1984

This poem I am writing is to a special person,

A woman, a friend, who will always listen.

Everyday I do my best, to make her laugh,

As a result, I get more than a grin from her mouth.

Leanne I know, her husband “Thomas”, I don’t,

I do hope that, they keep up with their religion,

Knitting her way to beautiful clothes,

House working hard, by her kitchen stove.

Timetable organized for daily chores,

To Leanne, there is nothing that bores,

They’re saving up money,

To live their lives, so happily.

Bearded Tom, caring for his wife,

Seldom getting into strife,

As he is a true-blue Hungarian,

Turned into a great “Australian”!

My dear prayers to both, Leanne and Tom,

I would like to get to know both of them.

Seeing that their dream future is near,

Coming up soon, in the next couple of years.                                                            

Poem Number 68 - God's Call To Lana - 26/5/1984

A terrible shock came to our good friends,  my Meme's family,

A shock that might have slightly changed, some people’s destiny.

May a special short life be raised,

Opening up, to the gates of heaven.

Please light up a candle,

That has been unlit,

As all of us can not handle,

All this bad news, all of it!

For a girl, who had just recently entered a new world,

By the love and care of two wonderful parents.

She, who could not yet speak, hear or understand what was being told to her,

May we send to her, all our love and sentiments.

May God let Lanna’s soul be accepted, in his kingdom,

So that she may live her new life,

In a place she will be happy forever,

And what has happened will remain in our past.

To Lanna’s grandmother, who had just turned seventy: is sad,

As Lanna was her only grand daughter, carrying the Meme's family name

But Meme is strong and will love all her children,

And her grandchildren, right to the end.

God bless this young soul! And her parents!

God, we question you no more,

As you have called for Lanna,

To enter your own kingdom, of beauty and happiness!

Poem Number 67 - Trusting One Another - 5/5/1984

It must make me feel bad that I don’t have a girlfriend,

But the last one I had wasn’t nice to me, just mean!

Usually men don’t treat women, all so well,

They should, but they really don’t give a hell.

Isn’t it important for every woman, to feel free?

Oh, I’d give my heart up, for the entire woman to see,

My gentleness and concern’s (which is thought of, by all):

Unique, simple, good-looking, oh so tall!

It is not right for a woman to work, outside the home,

But is her right to say who’s to earn?

A man should lay down the red carpet, down to the loved one.

He should treat his wife, with the utmost care.

May any woman who loves her husband,

Not leave him, especially if you both get on well.

Trusting each other, being faithful,

No back door love affairs. No. Not at all!

In this world today, male and female relationships,

Are different to the same, a decade ago.

So many break up and get divorced,

And quickly get re-married.

At young ages: late teens to mid twenties,

Children get married, with one of your supposed person, you know.

But who knows whom, a hundred percent?

No one can say they know someone else, really well.

How can we know one another?

Brother, sister, mother or father?

Who can really admit that they have their best friend at heart?

I can’t. I just don’t know whom to trust.

I can’t even trust myself,

Lose faith in myself,

Lose trust to…

Everyone I know.

Poem Number 66 - On Your Own - 29/4/1984

Is life so short, to be own your own,

That the days are long?

Is it right to stay in bed all day,

Or is this wrong?

I’m just living a life on my own,

Just to show that I have grown.

Preciously my life was, in turmoil,

Now, it’s only me who I can spoil.

With my television on,

And all blankets wrapped around me,

Just bare nakedness, just lying there,

And the sun shining, just right out side.

Maybe I feel as if I should have a woman, in need,

But I know now what I want, indeed.

It’s different for me, to cater for only one,

But now all it is a great ball of fun.

All I want is a little push, to aid me,

And that was all my two good friends gave to me.

Strange may it be, but not so quiet,

I’m number one and I’ll take no side bets.

Poem Number 65 - Fatigue - 20/4/1984

For once this week, I am feeling tired,

At my home, resting to a sudden nothingness,

And feeling rather calm about any worries,

I don’t seem to feel concerned about my bad past.

Just lying here, listening to silence,

The noises I hear: cars driving past by.

Not thinking about any future fiancé,

Just nothing. Nothing at all.

No woman, to get upset at me,

No woman, to tell me off,

No woman, not letting me feel free,

As I close my eyes, just plain old tired me.

Poem Number 64 - What A Great Day! - 15/4/1984

Do you know that I should’ve been at my Dad’s birthday, today?

Do you know that I have just seen a new friend, today?

For a long time now, I’ve been trying to find out, myself,

I always believed that I was in search of myself,

But not all of this, maybe for the better!

Life is so short,

When you think some more about it.

But when your mind and body is at rest,

Enjoying this peace is not the worst.

May the sunshine all through the windows,

To make us, see right through the darkness.

May the whispering ghosts of yesterdays,

Speak out loud and be at your feet.

Be it, with or without good friends,

May you reign in your kingdom, forever and ever.

Think twice about hurt,

But don’t fall down into the dirt.

Be clean, neat and tidy,

Be courteous to anyone, you know.

Don’t be smart and put on a show!

Just be simply you.

As only you holds your own life in your hands. 

Poem Number 63 - It Wasn't Meant To Be Easy! - 9/4/1984

I have real good friends, who will help,

They know that I needed just that bit of a push,

To get me standing, on my own two feet,

It feels as if I was dirty and I’ve given myself a good wash.

My attitude towards staff at work has not changed,

Neither towards friends I had lost, via my ex-girlfriend.

May my life just run a little smoother?

And not be a little harder.      

Life wasn’t meant to be easy!”

As quoted, by on great politician.

Now, this is still the same,

I don’t think we’re all the same!

Poem Number 62 - To A Lady I Know - 9/4/1984

May I write a poem of hope for one lady,

Who has recently moved to that big city.

Financial, working in an easy country town,

Selling life assurance, with no frowns.

She finds it hard, to get to know this city,

Yet by herself, she has decided to live in Sydney.

I know she has tried to find her feet on the ground,

As true friendship in Sydney, is hard to find.

This lovely lady has found a good school for her teenage daughter,

And she would like to help me get off my feet, as well.

Yet, I would like to give her many leads, from work,

As I know, it would be like working for her in the dark (with the light turned on bright).

I may be young, but I would like to be,

As good as can be to anyone.

It’s my turn to help as much as I can,

As it’s better to use two hands, than one!

Poem Number 61 - Corruption Or Not To Be Corrupted? - 27/3/1984

Are today’s issues of society, in question?
Yes. Corruption is within most of us.

Who would like to get things done in their own way, made easy?

But at the final end, all these people are all caught in the act.

An example of corruption, showing how it can occur, today:

            Mr. Beard is an employer,

            Who bribes his accountant,

            To increase his contributions.

            To extra pay his SP bookie,

            (For taxation purposes),

            And to claim on his return,

            For all robberies and breakings,

            Which aren’t true, to name each claim.

            Mr. Beard opens up new companies,

            Using all sorts of names, except his own.

   He buys up all the company shares.           

           

            His friends are all behind him, in all decisions made,

            And stand up for him, when he is questioned.

            The high-ranking officers, of one untrustworthy police                      force,

            Will not take him to court, as they are part of the goings on!

            The members of our local, state and federal governments,

            Will not make statements against Mr. Beard,

            As they will only confide with him,

            Because they know what reward, they’ll get.

            Friendly gestures, to shut people up,

   Questions may be asked, but no answers truly replied.

   One day in the future, one person will be killed,

   For brining out to the Public: all accounts of Mr. Beard.

  Mrs. Beard, not knowing what her husband has been up to,

 Will have to pay for all debts, which are overdue.

 The burial will be quiet,

 All those who kept to themselves, will shut up!

Poem Number 60 - A Young Man, I know - 27/3/1984

I have gone through a life, of a thirties man,

I hope someone I know very well, doesn’t do the same.

In such a short time, I have been ripped apart thoroughly,

By a woman, who turned out to be such a bitchy one?

If it wasn’t for good people, whom had cared a lot,

I would have been a terribly lot worse off, than I am now.

I have never laid back, in a home of my own,

But I have moved home, with other, from town to town.

Such a woman would be, who would not repair the clothes,

She would see and act indecently, to other men of those,

Who have only one thing on their mind,

And for sex, with the other mankind.

I don’t feel defenceless towards, 'her', at all,

In fact I know, I am standing on solid cement. Oh so tall!

I have been so gullible to anything put in front of me,

Yet, at present and in the future, I feel so free.

May this young man not go through this turmoil, I have been through,

As he is somewhat similar to me (when I was so young).

Shyness to talk, anger and continuous talk,

Stubbornness and silentness, is what I used to be like.

Poem Number 59 - 'H-E-A-V-E-N' - 17/3/1984

This is just great! I feel really relaxed!

Not like of recent, where my head was chopped off, by an axe.

Just a few minor problems, to sort out,

And that is all being taken care of.

Not to worry about “Michelle”, at all,

Jesus, isn’t that such a lovely feeling?

I don’t feel guilty for leaving,

As I was going along, on my own way.

                                               

Her large reproductive (or unreproductive system),

Is always filled up, in by other men’s seamen.

Like coal being shoved into a steam engine train,

As her vagina was so hard to get into,

Especially with her size, it would have taken,

Three or four penises, to actually fit into hers.

I only say one good thing about her,

And that is the word ‘Sex”,

As I really never had sex, where I came (to be or not to be?).

And I wasn’t surprised, when I had heard about….

All the fucks she had, (literally) behind my back.

For I was the black sheep, in this paddock,

Now I’ve turned to white and I’m the leader of the flock.

May she rot with every other guy, she knows or uses,

As from now on, she is none of my business, in any aspect.

May she for once, live a chained life,

Seeking husbands and not truly being a good respected wife.

Her sweetness turn to sourness, with tempers of all kind,

She is definitely not recognized, in any form of mankind.

Let her webs keep on spinning,

Until trapped, herself she is,

Not a soul to let her out,

And for her not realizing, that she is not winning.

May man not invent?

Such a sexual object like, “Michelle”.

Which, when she is programmed,

Brings out more data after data, into hell.

 I may feel a little lonelier,

Then I have ever been before,

But I’ve never felt so poorer,

Than what I have done, in the before.

 It may and will be hard for me,

To live on four dollars a fortnight,

But I will fight to survive: with four feet on the ground,

And then, I’ll start saving and think more of myself, in life.

Poem Number 58 - Lessons - 18/3/1984

Life may be difficult to enjoy,

When you have a lot of worries, on your brain.

But, the fun of life is to pull you together,

Out of the dungeons, you are placed into.

With or without help, this is important!

Your friends will advise you, in the very best way,

To lend a hand of long length,

To look at each other and still laugh, everyday!

I’ve lived life of a thirty year old,

I’ve listened and learnt the hard deals, I am told.

I will act a lot more, adultly,

And of course, more intelligently.

May the lessons I’ve learnt, in these past months,

Teach me to be strong and not fall in love, at once.

A man yet I am, to live a pure life,

I won’t ever decide to cut my throat, with a knife.

Relaxed and comforted I am, by a very nice family,

To have in mind, that my ex-lover could threaten us all.

The parents of whom, I know I’ll always feel welcome,

The front door is open, to me at home.

Special gifts have the guts and courage,

Special gifts to assist in my problems, in all possible ways.

They have given me help in which,

No other person could or would think of.

Stars are bright: a shinning light,

The darkness fills the air.

The Southern Cross is pointing out,

A place to where these friends of mine, will go!

Poem Number 57 - Waking Up! - 17/3/1984

Can a person be so blind?

Not to be able to see, what was happening behind him?

She, that is supposed to have paid bills,

She, which wanted us to save.

All things may feel, so lovely and beautiful.

Yet, they are things which, when you find out,

Make you jump up and down in temper.

As you are told of your major deficits,

A problem that creates a financial burden, for yourself.

Is this the same woman, who used to be of mine,

As real as she had turned out, to be?

The definite answer is,'No'.

Never-ending straight sex is and will always be her goal,

Even if she had her head and arms up, in the air,

And the rest of her body, dug underneath the sands and soils.

With my girl, most accounts were not paid.

My earnings, I didn’t have a chance to touch.

Money wasn’t being splurged on myself, at first,

And then the rest was spent on Michelle.

Not a word from me, could suggest changes in spending,

I now have to wait until urgent debts are cleared.

With another year to go, I’d have most likely end up in jail,

Or keep paying more debts and leaving myself, with no savings base at all.

No true marriage or defector relationship,

Would be like the one I had, from week to week.

Now I’ve got to manage my own finance,

To try to live by myself, eventually.

To see the few good friends, I used to see before.

To be back with my family and fighting for myself.

To bring back the peace to all I had known,

Whether I had been “Right” or “Wrong”,

Let me wake up, from the crisp and fresh new dawn!