Poem Number 246 - Await The Moment Of Truth And Thankfulness - 2/2/1988

As the hourglass is imagined into realism,

The sands of fine grain fall endless movements of time,

This becomes the mountain of time, of which is put into life,

Then life that goes on and on, until a heartbeat, stops to death.

Yet, for life to live forever more,

There has to be complete trust and love between two people.

The walls must be thick so no accusation is made,

To accuse me of being at our home, with someone else.

To be questioned as to why and how do I know of two plastic containers?

Appearing in cupboards that have just been cleaned.

To be called a liar because I replied, ‘I don’t know!’

Not even to be asked nicely, ‘What Happened while was gone?’

‘No’, not a kind word, so she not received one from me,

Although temper of one kind was followed by silentness.

Just about two lines were said in that time,

Where I was accused of a liar. She didn’t want to talk too.

 As I am asked not to touch her,

As I am asked not to kiss her,

As I am the one who is supposed to suffer!

Suffer the pain of my life ignoring me,

Yet I awake in the morn to have a cup of coffee,

To be asked who was with m, yesterday morn,

I walked away in disgust, not to be trusted.

Especially when she finds a receipt, which shocks what I bought,

Of which I have nothing to hide in these items,

To which she went through my wallet and our desk,

Without asking me what had happened, did I go shopping?

I know something, I am wrong with things I’ve done,

I also know that this time is not my entire fault,

I will take the blame for not answering properly back to Nirmala’,

But there’s a reason behind reason, of doing what I’ve done.

And for once, I will not apologize first,

Like I always have been doing to her,

I will wait until she apologizes to me,

And then it will be for me to apologize to her.

We may seem like we are playing childish games,

But these are early days of our happy marriage years,

To be quiet and shameful of sudden silentness,

To wait the moment of truthfulness and thankfulness.

Poem Number 53 - Arguments! - 8/3/1984

Is language so necessary, to abuse anyone else?
Cruising, to the point they want to left by themselves.

How much can one human say to another human,

Picking out, opinional weak points and brining it out, to the open.

Unforeseen daily life, is expected of me,

I do what I want to do…if what I want to do is straightaway.

For I am not blind, but I can really see,

Not doing household duties, every single day.

It should not be expected of anyone, to me,

To work 8-10 hours a day, after feeling tired not even awake.

To get any part of the house cleaned up, at once,

This should be done by the person, who stays home all the day.

So, why was I hit, like a batsmen going for a sixer?

So duly unfair, was it to me.

To be told that I should enter,

Through the back door, not through our own front door!

Next time she makes requests. Like two pieces of wood burning oh, so bright,

I will remain my silence and let her stew on it.

If I explode on her, won’t it be such a great fright,

Giving her, two sticks of gelignite!

Poem Number 52 - Against Advice - 6/3/1984

Taking medical drugs to put me to sleep,

Is really not what I wanted to happen.

Yet, I had done that for my own reasons,

Sleepy, yet awake how I feel!

Against advice of others, I had taken them,

I obviously had taken them due to fatigue ness and depression.

Boy! At present I have put myself in a hell of a mess,

For more than once, I put myself under such heavy sleep.

I could not cope,

Not sleeping instantly.

This, I had not done due to Michelle being away,

It was due to the notices that blared, to keep me awake.

It doesn’t seem right to put the blame on anyone else,

And I’ll take the blame, all by myself.

I know My girl won’t go to sleep,

For the music’s so loud.

But she would definitely,

Take an interest.

Even though, I can’t get to sleep,

And the music, sound not being the best.

Poem Number 23 - I'm Going Out - 16/11/1983

Lights turned on in the shadows of the dark,

Numbers of animals, running from Noah’s Arc.

Softly, the southerly blows on the windowpane,

My God there’s nobody else at home!

And for that, I don’t know for whom is to blame.

As waiting, the front door opens so fast,

I seem to worry as the time passes by

To whom or to where, do I search for my lovely girl?

I can hardly do, anything at this stage.

I jump to a sound of a ringing telephone,

As I Listen to the words that tell me, “ I’m going out!”

Quietly, awaiting for the woman, that I love,

Coming home and then, nothing do I hear.

I know, she has friends atat work,

Who talk and drink with her, everyday,

As I am her number one, 

Doesn't it (what she does) make me feel so swell!

A tap on the door and I assumed that it is her,

But as it turns out, it’s not her at all.

It is somebody else, trying to find out whether she is well,.

Now, I am starting to feel a little uneasy….

The cat wanders around, to see what’s anew,

Feel her I do, but she tells me more of what she needs.

The new duckling we have, is making a few quacks,

And also I am wondering, when she is coming back?

I finally receive another telephone call,

To tell me, to meet her down the local pub.

Thinking, how could I tell her?

That her mother was expecting us for dinner.

As I knew how tonight would’ve ended up,

A drinking night, for her.

But I felt our need was, for us to be at her mother’s house,

For we had not been there for a while work,

Who talk and drink with her, everyday,

As I am her number one,

Poem Number 17 - Panicked! - 2/11/1983

Everything seems to happen to us, both in one go,

I really feel guilty about our first big blue,

My lady, she left me when I was pissed and sick,

Not knowing what to do, I panicked!

I felt jealous about her ringing up “David”,

It took me more than a few drinks, to calm me down,

And she deliberately wouldn’t tell me. Who was she ringing?

But when I use the phone to ring up someone,

She would always like to find out, to whom I was speaking too!

I know, I shouldn’t be jealous, if it really can’t be true!

It’s like myself, trying to do the same to her.

As my love for Michelle, is on of concern,

I would never act the same way, towards Michelle, at all.