Poem Number 251 - Sick Leave Or Dead Leave - 2/2/1998

There’s nothing wrong to take proper sick leave,

If you are sick within reason,

And you cannot be working,

Or come to work because of this sickness.

For you to surely measure up to being sick,

One, you firstly taste the air around you in the morn,

And if you decide because of to much hot air,

That you don’t go to work. You don’t go to work!

Second, tie your left hand to your right hand,

And pick up the phone with your left leg,

So that when you ring up your boss to report sick,

You tell him that you are unable to go to the front door (Have your wife witness this!).

Thirdly, as your wife is watching you, you tell her how sick you are,

(Not much) and politely asked her to bake your bacon and eggs.

With one cup of tea, one white and fourteen sugars,

If she asks why about the sugar, tell her that if the boss comes around he’ll really be sick.

Fourthly, after breakfast (while tied up) you can then untie your hand and leg,

Don’t breathe out for one and a half minutes!

Before releasing your breath, put your hands tightly around your neck,

Make sure choke yourself before releasing your breath.

Lastly, as you are now lying dead,

You would not be reading what’s left to read,

And you’ll feel glad, as you’ll be taking another sick leave tomorrow,

But guess what? You will not have to ring up this time!